Confessions of a Son

I am trapped in this place
Lacking affection, love and solace.
I had always known that it had never belonged to me
But still I poured oil in the lamp which radiated glee.

Here I am surrounded by strangers
Among whom one is my father.
It is only his face which I find familiar
Otherwise, we both are completely dissimilar.

There is no sign of understanding between us
My every word seems a lie to him; he calls me a liar.
His indifference causes so much fuss
That it intervenes to spark my cold fire.

He yells at my demands
And expects that in return, I'll obey all his commands.
He tries to slit open my privacy whenever he gets a chance,
And if I retaliate, he jumps into a bitter trance.

I lose everytime in the pursuit of getting understood,
And I'm declared rude whenever I try to behave good.
My every good deed is deemed as a selfish intention
Despite having him around me, I feel dejection.

We live under the same roof
And we've been living together since 17 years.
But we are strangers for each other
Living in an environment of uneasiness and fears.

Whenever he inflicts a moist kiss upon my forehead
Burns my skin and instantly it turns red.
There is strong apathy floating in the air around us everytime
Which asks not to pretend that we care for each other - it's a crime.

So much lack of understanding has pushed us apart,
Today, we both know, is too late to make a new start.
Now he cannot ever have a better view of my mind
And when I try to see with his eyes, I feel so blind.

Do I even see the world the same way as he does?
There is so much difference in our opinions.
The thing I approve of is disliked by him
Our thoughts and ideas have never matched atleast once.

With time we're drifting farther away from each other
It has become just too difficult to be together.
There is aggression in the air he exhales when I'm around,
And I ignore if he summons me as if I had never heard his sound.

With time the situations are undoubtedly getting uglier
We just cannot peacefully sit and get the misunderstandings cleared.
I know he wants to talk to me and I wish to forgive him
But if we near each other to fulfil our desires, the air again turns grim.

The Oasis

It seemed that I had been walking forever
Reaching nowhere.
There was only heat, dryness and solitude
Beside the intense despair.

The desert was endless and totally arid,
My throat felt dry.
I decided to drink my tears to quench this thirst
But my eyes refused to cry.

I couldn't feel life in my feet
They were as hard as rock.
But I continued my journey on
As I was still able to walk.

Hazy memories of my past gave me strength
And I left behind one after the other sand-dune.
They produced some impeccable music and asked me
To come and discover the source of that tune.

So I didn't pause in my pursuit at all
Of emerging successfully out of this pain
I ignored that blood which oozed out from my old scars,
I only dreamt of relishing the water of the scented rain.

After walking for several more days,
I saw a lake and lush green trees.
I rejected my vision as an illusion
But then I felt a serene breeze.

Immediately my rough, dry skin softened
And I could feel a pulse.
My thoughts started to become clearer
I remembered why I was in this desert at once.

I went to the lake and studied my reflection
I realized that I had become a stranger for my eyes.
Before I could feel comfortable with my new appearance
I was disturbed by some cheerful noise.

Some kids were playing happily behind me,
Nudging and elbowing each other while they tossed the ball.
I wondered what kind of a desert this was,
There was much too joy for such a dry place to stall.

After reflecting for a few more minutes, I decided to move ahead
I saw a lady twenty yards away, feeding the dogs some crisp bread.
She saw me approaching and at once stood up looking in my direction
I was sure she felt uncomfortable by my clothing and complexion.

But she announced affectionate words of welcome
Which I wasn't used to hearing.
I became sure that it was all a dream, a nightmare,
So much radiations of love stops my healing.

I turned around and started to run,
But this oasis had no bounds.
After shooting glances in all the 8 directions,
I noticed around me were only green grounds.

I started to feel claustrophobic in the open air,
It made me dizzy and I almost fell down -
But two firm hands held me in position,
And unknowingly my face exposed a frown.

That fellow helped me stand and tried to wipe my tear stains,
And declared that I needn't go anywhere.
I fired all the questions which were hovering in my mind
To which he replied with utmost satisfaction and care.

He told me, "The worst is over now,
You needn't wander anymore.
You fought all the miseries which came in your life
And now, nothing more you have to endure."

His remark washed away all my questions at once
I realized that I have reached my goal.
I had finally crossed the desert of despair,
Again, I had found my beautiful soul.

I thanked him and started to walk in the direction of the breeze,
This new knowledge cemented the truth that I was re-born.
While licking the pure air I understood that,
'The darkest hour of night was indeed just before the dawn'.