Killed by the Nature

All this time I never thought about the dark sky with a bright moon,

Holding hands with the deep sea, which tried to engulf it soon.

I never saw the moss, green and azure, blanketing the rocks of the shore,

And smelled the enigma of the invisible air; it was so pure.

I never ventured beyond the reaches of this mystified nature,

I was always focused on the one, my beautiful 'creature'.

But when I found that few dreams can never be materialized,

I stepped quietly into this serene nature, hopeful and disguised.

I remember that night, when the lightening appalled my eyes,

Cold, metallic and shiny it appeared; it looked so nice.

I was drifted towards the insane purity of its appearance,

But its brightness was so perfect that I couldn't extend my bearance.

One second it hovered there and the next second it was gone,

It sparkled the great grey clouds when simultaneously they were torn.

I could feel the magic of might tingling the hair behind my neck,

It was something so pellucid, something which was worth to fetch.

I started to walk in the direction where the gentle breeze pushed me,

I reached a river and I watched it slapping the rocks harshly.

I never felt so amazed to listen to the sound of such consistent violence,

The sound the river produced mended my bleeding ears with exuberance.

The moonlight directed a bundle of beautiful silver light right into my swollen eyes,

This light brightened all the dark patches within me and I started to feel nice.

My dying body started to restore its fervour as the energy it inflicted was grand,

I started to assemble once again from scattered particle into a mountain of sand.

But soon darkness started to spread in front of my new vision,

The moonlight became distorted and the blackness gulped it without hesitation.

The wonderful breeze which had been blowing started to become rough,

The solemn eclipse was followed by this gale which was unbelievably tough.

And then the river changed its course, it started to gain huge heights,

The strength it displayed was enough to haunt a person till death in his frights.

No longer it was slapping the rigid rocks; it devoured them greedily in one go,

The energy it emitted eventually was icy; it felt as if I was standing naked in the snow.

Everything changed its rigour and route almost immediately then,

The thunder which has allured me once caused the worst mayhem.

The river overflowed, the rough gale blew and the thunder splitted my ears apart,

I had healed so perfectly a moment ago and now I had to again collect myself from the start.

The eerie darkness started to suck me in, into the depths of utter discomfort,

And the pressure with which it tried to pursue its intentions, evidently hurt.

I could not feel my limbs tearing apart as the circumstance made me so numb,

The pain it caused asked me to shriek wildly but then I had turned completely dumb.

I churned in the charisma of nature which I thought was always velvet,

The silver light which was so soothing to my open wounds became violet.

I started to lose control over my even breathing while I writhed in the dark,

And the lightening illustrated my grievance with an occasional blinding spark.

I've really felt all this with a much greater intensity at some point of time in my past,

I remember clearly that my once jubilant life had started to lose its flavour very fast.

The situations I was subjected to then gave birth to a troglodytic poet within me,

Who wrote about pain, separation and deceival because it was the only source of his glee.

Meandering Thoughts

I extinguished with the dying fire,

With such a weak, frightened heart I couldn't walk higher.

I always considered my fire incapable of becoming cold

I never imagined that one day, in this way, I'll lose my hold.

I could see my reflection in the serene water

The orange flames were dying unable to get any hotter.

I wasn't moulded into a person worth dying for

And the emptiness I inhaled possibly had no cure.

All this happened when I finally reached the place I had always wished to be.

I could hear laughter, taste love and the blissful glee.

The air I sucked in perfumed my rotten, decaying soul

And almost immediately, all my hopes started to rebuild on their own.

My cheeks which were permanently moist by the tears I cried,

Started to lose the stain as the tears slowly dried.

I felt myself glisten in this world I always hated

After I intimately hugged that joy for which I had always waited.

I could see my blood pushing itself back into the open wounds.

And eventually the love I witnessed started to obliterate all my glooms.

That huge hole which had been punched right through my chest

Started to heal fastly as now I wasn't love-bereft!

So much love and affection spread unconsciousness in me,

I had completely forgotten that even I could live in mirth and glee.

Every confused scream that escaped my lips tormented my frightened soul

I didn't know if I wanted to live a happy life and drink happiness through an osmium-bowl.

I confronted the dream I always saw whenever I slept with a swollen face,

And today, it stood right next to me, with a bright halo of acceptance and grace.

But I was bemused if I was really ready to live in this stupendous aura of love and faith

The puzzled emptiness which was a part of me now, rose with resentment like a wraith.

My blistered tongue did not lick this new joyous kind of flame,

But my heart wanted it to burn me fully and never allege against it any blame.

Mixed emotions sprouted up from me for this new kind of reception,

One said to adopt it forever and one said to discard it as it's better to live in rejection.

I am so confused to choose the best option that favours me in the long run,

Because I've learnt to live in utter isolation and in the absence of a bright sun.

Fifteen years have replaced all traces of mirth within me into an asphyxiating pain,

I'm unsure if now will I be able to withstand the cool, affectionate, sweet-sounding rain...

Let Me Go

I always saw an irrevocable love for me in her eyes,

Which was unconditional and pellucid, not based on lies.

She just gave her heart to me with acceptance when we first talked,

Despite she knew that I was the one whom the world happily mocked.

I was simple, never gaudy; I hardly appeared distinguished in a crowd,

But still she observed me and said that my perfection was very loud.

I always saw a possessive person in her who never wanted to lose me,

And would hold me forever even though I wished to flee.

She imposed her friendship on me so that we could come close,

And on one day, she publicly gave me a beautiful red rose.

I twitched when I realized that she is expressing her love for me,

I wasn't ready for a commitment- I wished to stay free...

I asked her that we can be friends forever but not the ones in love,

So, she stopped talking about it but I knew it was merely a bluff.

I could always feel the warmth of the flames of love which dazzled in her heart,

And somewhere I knew, it wasn't all over; she had just made a fresh start.

Slowly and slowly, she started to try to win some conscious part of me,

And very smartly she watered all the bushes surrounding my feeble tree.

She tried to protect me form any kind of insanity, grief and fear,

With a firm hope that one day she will become my 'dear' .

Her gestures were inhumanly kind and she always made me giggle and laugh,

And many-a-times, in some serious joking, she used to confess that I was her half.

Without me, she could not sustain long and I was her life-giving drug,

Even if I vanished from her eyes just for a minute, she would become smug.

She fought with all those people whom I considered my closest friends,

Sometimes she fought using her tongue and sometimes even hands.

All this started distancing me apart from her again for my own good,

I felt insecure because in every rain she spread up like an umbrella where I stood.

She messed up her relations with all of her friends due to this infatuation,

She wouldn't care if the world burned if she succeeded to win my affection.

All this overwhelming spate of love started placing a lot of baggage over my head,

I started to feel irritated and annoyed whenever my smile turned her cheeks red.

The thing that incensed me the most was that she interfered in my personal life,

She started telling me with whom I should stay or talk, as if she was my wife.

I brimmed up with infuriation whenever she tried to advise me with a caressing tone,

Rather than to have somebody love you like this, it's better to be completely alone.

She never allowed anybody to come near me if she was around,

Whenever she saw someone approaching, she pushed me deeper into the ground.

And spread herself like a grass on the patch under which I was buried,

Until the one whom she considered as a danger in other direction hurried.

I tried all possible ways to tell her that I don't love her the way she does,

But she never lent her ears to my talks which she thought were total rust.

I once tried to be blunt about how I felt for her as I couldn't keep her in mist,

The next day she shocked me by displaying her slitted-open wrist!

I don't know how shall I convince her that we just cannot be more than friends,

I cannot live with such a person who, to receive love, can adopt such disgusting trends.

Whenever I touch her by mistake I feel so sick to watch her pale face glow,

Will that time ever come, when she cuts the ropes she tied me in, and let me go?