Let Me Go

I always saw an irrevocable love for me in her eyes,

Which was unconditional and pellucid, not based on lies.

She just gave her heart to me with acceptance when we first talked,

Despite she knew that I was the one whom the world happily mocked.

I was simple, never gaudy; I hardly appeared distinguished in a crowd,

But still she observed me and said that my perfection was very loud.

I always saw a possessive person in her who never wanted to lose me,

And would hold me forever even though I wished to flee.

She imposed her friendship on me so that we could come close,

And on one day, she publicly gave me a beautiful red rose.

I twitched when I realized that she is expressing her love for me,

I wasn't ready for a commitment- I wished to stay free...

I asked her that we can be friends forever but not the ones in love,

So, she stopped talking about it but I knew it was merely a bluff.

I could always feel the warmth of the flames of love which dazzled in her heart,

And somewhere I knew, it wasn't all over; she had just made a fresh start.

Slowly and slowly, she started to try to win some conscious part of me,

And very smartly she watered all the bushes surrounding my feeble tree.

She tried to protect me form any kind of insanity, grief and fear,

With a firm hope that one day she will become my 'dear' .

Her gestures were inhumanly kind and she always made me giggle and laugh,

And many-a-times, in some serious joking, she used to confess that I was her half.

Without me, she could not sustain long and I was her life-giving drug,

Even if I vanished from her eyes just for a minute, she would become smug.

She fought with all those people whom I considered my closest friends,

Sometimes she fought using her tongue and sometimes even hands.

All this started distancing me apart from her again for my own good,

I felt insecure because in every rain she spread up like an umbrella where I stood.

She messed up her relations with all of her friends due to this infatuation,

She wouldn't care if the world burned if she succeeded to win my affection.

All this overwhelming spate of love started placing a lot of baggage over my head,

I started to feel irritated and annoyed whenever my smile turned her cheeks red.

The thing that incensed me the most was that she interfered in my personal life,

She started telling me with whom I should stay or talk, as if she was my wife.

I brimmed up with infuriation whenever she tried to advise me with a caressing tone,

Rather than to have somebody love you like this, it's better to be completely alone.

She never allowed anybody to come near me if she was around,

Whenever she saw someone approaching, she pushed me deeper into the ground.

And spread herself like a grass on the patch under which I was buried,

Until the one whom she considered as a danger in other direction hurried.

I tried all possible ways to tell her that I don't love her the way she does,

But she never lent her ears to my talks which she thought were total rust.

I once tried to be blunt about how I felt for her as I couldn't keep her in mist,

The next day she shocked me by displaying her slitted-open wrist!

I don't know how shall I convince her that we just cannot be more than friends,

I cannot live with such a person who, to receive love, can adopt such disgusting trends.

Whenever I touch her by mistake I feel so sick to watch her pale face glow,

Will that time ever come, when she cuts the ropes she tied me in, and let me go?

To my Mother

You are my fairy tale princess,

So much larger than life.

You are my angel and my witness

Through all my pain and strife.

You're patient when I'm foolish;

You give guidance when I ask;

It seems you can do most anything;

You're the master of every task.

You're a dependable source of comfort;

You're my cushion when I fall.

You help in times of trouble;

You support me whenever I call.

How could I ever, thank you enough?

Through your examples, I learned to be tough.

You taught me how to, stand up for myself,

Always place books, back onto the shelf.

How did you find the energy, Mom

To do all the things you did,

To be teacher, nurse and counselor

To me, when I was a kid.

Even if the distance pushes us apart,

My love for you will have no end.

I'll always hold the memories in my heart.

You're my mother, my best friend.

I love you more than you know;

You have my total respect.

If I had my choice of mothers,

You'd be the one I'd select!

Black Souls

All I can see today with my sullen bleeding eyes,

Is a harsh world completely brimmed with dirty lies.

Behind every brightly pained door

Lives a dishonest man who has stopped loving anyone anymore.

With a little hope, I walked the path leading to the Benevolent Street,

With tears in eyes, pain in heart and hands stretched out in greed

Of plucking out some fruits of joy from that fully laden tree

And devour some hastily so that I was again able to relish the taste of glee.

First of all I met a little girl, as lively as she could be,

Singing and dancing as she walked, her beautiful hair hung loosely.

I was attracted towards her and wished that she teaches me how to smile

Urgently, I obstructed her way and pleaded that face, so genuine, it couldn't beguile.

She held my hand and took me to where other dozens of happy people were walking,

And during this time she hardly did any talking.

Then she spoke, and shouted, until all the eyes were glued at me,

She mocked my despair and loneliness until everybody was laughing merrily.

Insulted, I ran away from her and hit a boy who had a serene subtle face,

He helped me to balance myself and introduced himself with grace.

When I asked him to be my friend for ever as I always had been lonely,

His expressions soured, and he simply walked away scornfully.

I met many others who turned out to be even worse,

While drifting away they gave me a punch of curse.

Some even punctured my heart with what they did,

And my blood started oozing out from where it always hid.

When I wondered if my request was so offensive and impossible to fulfil,

Someone came up to me with an understanding face where I was sitting still.

She put her hand on my shoulder and shed two tears with me,

It was then I discovered that it was only her with whom I wanted to be.

I was totally lost in the aroma of her presence,

And slowly I started to feel happiness in the veins of my existence.

The dead skin of my lips chipped when she made me smile with her,

And I realized that I have found the one who will be with me forever.

Once, she asked me to accompany her to a distant place,

Where she introduced me to one handsome face.

She declared before him that she didn't love me at all,

And pushed me down into the ocean of hopelessness through a depressing fall.

Today, my skin has developed many deep holes

Which were inflicted by all those sadistic, black souls.

The deepest hole, aching the most is the one which penetrated my heart

Inflicted by the one whom I loved the most when we separated apart.

Downpour of Light

When I peep into my past I see that I was never in love with someone,

I used to walk alone in my life, I was solitary, the incomplete one.

I never washed my face with the genteel water of loveliest affection,

Instead, my spirits were splashed by the muck of excruciating rejection.

I have always seen the sun shining from behind the thick grey clouds,

I never had anyone who could sit with me and clear all my doubts.

My soul felt ashamed whenever I stood in front of a shiny mirror,

I had been to the bank many-a-times, but I could never cross the river.

Excessive thirst used to pull my tears towards my numb mouth

Parched my throat was, after I had yelled so loud -

For company, friends, and love which never wished to enter my cursed life,

And I know how much it pained when everyday in this bitter world I died.

So worthless I felt, I couldn't see anyone who cared for me,

The dunes of my spirits never flickered even on facing a caressing breeze.

My broken moaning was the only sound my ears listened for years,

And all this time I drowned sluggishly into the quick-sand of my worst fears.

I always dreamt about conquering this world I nearly died in everyday,

But my weakness pulled me behind from letting myself participate in the fray.

I was weak at the knees and my joints chuckled whenever I wished to move on,

I was a lifeless being, just breathing the contaminated air, from dawn to dawn.

The translucent sky never showed me how azure it was,

I wanted to be happy, but I could never collect any reasonable cause.

I was fully broken, shattered into uncountable pieces of glass,

And if I tried to put them together, it was I who had to bleed at last.

The pain was so much that I couldn't feel any other emotion which existed,

It held me paralysed while I burned all my memories of defeat, completely unmisted.

It surpassed every emotion that I had ever felt all during these years,

The pain was so pronounced that even my death could make me happier.

I couldn't live another second in this pain but my body wouldn't move,

My soul was sculptured beautifully on the sadistic, burning groove.

I could not sense my veins, they were sealed by the agony I endured,

And my blood was drained out by everybody referring this action to be the only cure.

I was completely strangulated by the rusted chains of dismay and fear,

I couldn't move a limb and to my decaying body, nobody would near.

I always pleaded to the gigantic sky to rescue me from all this pain,

To rain some light on me too, and for once make me alive and arcane.

I never understood why I repulsed the spectrum of hope away from me?

Why my soul was tarnished despite I never spat on anybody's glee?

When will I be able to fight myself out of the morbid extent of this night,

And able to relish the tingle of my skin in a jaunty downpour of light?

An Acceptance

Since the day I first saw you, I never felt the way I feel today,

Your every appearance before my eyes re-sparkles my dull day.

Just a dainty sound of your chuckle forces my dead heart to bloom,

And whenever you speak to me, I forget all of my troubling gloom.

I merely get a few minutes to talk to you everyday,

But those minutes are enough for me to survive the entire day.

How perfect you seem to me, your every word - every action,

And whenever I utter something stupid, I love watching your reaction.

I even forget blinking my eyes when you expose that smile of yours at me,

A torrent of satisfaction pulls me in whenever I find you in glee.

So lucky I feel everytime I get to see you,

I accept that you're the one who refreshed my life and made it all new.

Why do I lose control of myself whenever you come before me?

Why do I always construct you into everybody I see?

I don't know what to call these feelings which I mentioned above -

Is it an honest friendship or a selfless love?

I cannot express in words about the ocean of love living in me,

Its waves rise so high whenever in front of my eyes you be.

I almost drown in this euphoria everytime you touch my hand,

And my hasty breaths carve your name on the golden sand.

You revivified every broken string of my eroded guitar,

So, now don't inflict upon my heart any painful scar.

I know I'll sink into the darkness again where I always hided,

If in the end this love proves to be one-sided.

I promise I'll chain myself with misery if you go away,

And shun my random breaths in all this fray.

I accept that in my light less life, you're the shiniest star,

Please don't ever leave me alone and go far...

She let her life fly away ...

She looked into the water at the face she always groomed,

But only noticed blood in her blue eyes; the blood of her fresh wound.

Every bright day from then introduced a new suffering in her dainty life,

And every new face she saw mocked her when she wandered in her lonely strife.

She wished to fly to that haunted monastery up the hill,

Where thousands of laburnum trees flourished ready to kill.

Just a little seed of theirs would salvage her from all pain

And her wish would get materialised of never seeing this cruel world again.

There was a man whom she had loved with a very sincere heart,

His feel always made her chirrup like an innocent lovely little lark.

It was he with whom she had always been lavender and lurid,

And it was only he, who was reponsible for her turning ever putrid.

She defied everybody to love him; she left everyone for him,

The light of her faith was gaudy, she never allowed it to dim.

She approached him with open arms and surrendered herself,

He accepted her merrily. The clock tolled twelve.

She lived the dream she adored every night,

The man she loved was always infront of her sight.

She radiated happiness through her translucent pale skin

Whenever she kissed him and he acknowledged that love with a grin.

After a month or two she discovered that she was about to become a mother,

She rushed to him with joy, on the way floating in air like a free feather.

She told him everything excitedly and said that now they should get married,

So that the little baby gets his identity in the world whom she carried.

The next morning when she woke up, she couldn't find her lover,

He left her alone to face the world with ofcourse, her tiny nudger.

She collapsed instantly on the floor, bereft of a person who could understand her.

She wanted to cry but the shock was so pronounced that even a word she couldn't utter.

She was devoid of any aid; she couldn't return to those people whom she had left,

But she needed a shoulder on which all her pain she could rest.

The one who was the essential emollient substance for her existence

Was responsible for her misery, her abandoned child and for all her grimace.

She wanted to save her child but she couldn't search any way,

Nothing seemed to have color for her, all she could see was a dirty shade of grey.

It was then she decided not to see any other rueful day,

Her 'nudger' was also killed when she let her life fly away...

Ageing Agony

My hand is still stretched out towards the heaven

And my heart waits for you without a reason.

Time has elapsed so gleamingly all this time

Hovering smugly over the noise of any tearful chime.

I feel our fresh past, rueful and agonising.

I remember the time when you broke my wing.

And attached it with yours and flew away from me forever.

Crippled and broken I was, over my cursed fate to deter.

All this time I had been devoid of your sound,

The grass of my life turned ugly yellow on the parched ground.

Today, the freshly bloomed roses of my inspiration no more live,

And there is fear in my eyes, concealed but still olive.

I'm so sure that I will never be able to overcome this shock.

I'm sturdy but my heart is composed of the fragile cotton rock.

Pain is so easily penetrable through my thin skin,

That it makes me believe that in the game of life I can never win!

Every moment I ask myself, what caused you to leave my hand,

And disappear like a small shell in the vast stretched ocean of sand.

No reasonable answer appears in my mind which could soothe me for the rest of my life,

How will l be able to love again when my beating heart is being pushed deeper into the knife?

The flames of my spirit ended up into the haunted reaches of the wraith,

Claiming, altogether, my diminished resources of exuberance and dainty faith.

You came into my barren life, and it eventually became so sweetly fertile,

So ignorant of the real truth that when you're away it will again get docile.

A force of despair pulls me down to sink in the spate of tears I produced,

Coupled with the ageing agony which makes me lost, totally bemused.

So much pain is present, can it be avoided? Is there a way?

Can I sleep once in the serene night and never see the next day?