Downpour of Light

When I peep into my past I see that I was never in love with someone,

I used to walk alone in my life, I was solitary, the incomplete one.

I never washed my face with the genteel water of loveliest affection,

Instead, my spirits were splashed by the muck of excruciating rejection.

I have always seen the sun shining from behind the thick grey clouds,

I never had anyone who could sit with me and clear all my doubts.

My soul felt ashamed whenever I stood in front of a shiny mirror,

I had been to the bank many-a-times, but I could never cross the river.

Excessive thirst used to pull my tears towards my numb mouth

Parched my throat was, after I had yelled so loud -

For company, friends, and love which never wished to enter my cursed life,

And I know how much it pained when everyday in this bitter world I died.

So worthless I felt, I couldn't see anyone who cared for me,

The dunes of my spirits never flickered even on facing a caressing breeze.

My broken moaning was the only sound my ears listened for years,

And all this time I drowned sluggishly into the quick-sand of my worst fears.

I always dreamt about conquering this world I nearly died in everyday,

But my weakness pulled me behind from letting myself participate in the fray.

I was weak at the knees and my joints chuckled whenever I wished to move on,

I was a lifeless being, just breathing the contaminated air, from dawn to dawn.

The translucent sky never showed me how azure it was,

I wanted to be happy, but I could never collect any reasonable cause.

I was fully broken, shattered into uncountable pieces of glass,

And if I tried to put them together, it was I who had to bleed at last.

The pain was so much that I couldn't feel any other emotion which existed,

It held me paralysed while I burned all my memories of defeat, completely unmisted.

It surpassed every emotion that I had ever felt all during these years,

The pain was so pronounced that even my death could make me happier.

I couldn't live another second in this pain but my body wouldn't move,

My soul was sculptured beautifully on the sadistic, burning groove.

I could not sense my veins, they were sealed by the agony I endured,

And my blood was drained out by everybody referring this action to be the only cure.

I was completely strangulated by the rusted chains of dismay and fear,

I couldn't move a limb and to my decaying body, nobody would near.

I always pleaded to the gigantic sky to rescue me from all this pain,

To rain some light on me too, and for once make me alive and arcane.

I never understood why I repulsed the spectrum of hope away from me?

Why my soul was tarnished despite I never spat on anybody's glee?

When will I be able to fight myself out of the morbid extent of this night,

And able to relish the tingle of my skin in a jaunty downpour of light?