Meandering Thoughts

I extinguished with the dying fire,

With such a weak, frightened heart I couldn't walk higher.

I always considered my fire incapable of becoming cold

I never imagined that one day, in this way, I'll lose my hold.

I could see my reflection in the serene water

The orange flames were dying unable to get any hotter.

I wasn't moulded into a person worth dying for

And the emptiness I inhaled possibly had no cure.

All this happened when I finally reached the place I had always wished to be.

I could hear laughter, taste love and the blissful glee.

The air I sucked in perfumed my rotten, decaying soul

And almost immediately, all my hopes started to rebuild on their own.

My cheeks which were permanently moist by the tears I cried,

Started to lose the stain as the tears slowly dried.

I felt myself glisten in this world I always hated

After I intimately hugged that joy for which I had always waited.

I could see my blood pushing itself back into the open wounds.

And eventually the love I witnessed started to obliterate all my glooms.

That huge hole which had been punched right through my chest

Started to heal fastly as now I wasn't love-bereft!

So much love and affection spread unconsciousness in me,

I had completely forgotten that even I could live in mirth and glee.

Every confused scream that escaped my lips tormented my frightened soul

I didn't know if I wanted to live a happy life and drink happiness through an osmium-bowl.

I confronted the dream I always saw whenever I slept with a swollen face,

And today, it stood right next to me, with a bright halo of acceptance and grace.

But I was bemused if I was really ready to live in this stupendous aura of love and faith

The puzzled emptiness which was a part of me now, rose with resentment like a wraith.

My blistered tongue did not lick this new joyous kind of flame,

But my heart wanted it to burn me fully and never allege against it any blame.

Mixed emotions sprouted up from me for this new kind of reception,

One said to adopt it forever and one said to discard it as it's better to live in rejection.

I am so confused to choose the best option that favours me in the long run,

Because I've learnt to live in utter isolation and in the absence of a bright sun.

Fifteen years have replaced all traces of mirth within me into an asphyxiating pain,

I'm unsure if now will I be able to withstand the cool, affectionate, sweet-sounding rain...