Pain

I sometimes drive too fast
To feel a pinch of fear.
I sometimes abuse my Best Friend
To observe how to feels to hurt a 'dear'.

At times I cut my hand,
And allow the running water to fall on my wound,
To feel the burning sensation of pain,
That cannot be expressed in words or sound.

I sometimes shut the car-door on my hand,
And watch the blood gushing through me,
I love to trouble myself and check,
How it feels to suffer and bleed.

I sometimes pinch myself so hard,
That my nails pierce the skin.
Breathing stops and eyes close,
To let tolerate the pain, so true and rose.

I even throw a stone on my bare feet,
And rejoice the spasm produced.
This sends a wave of distress through the body,
And changed the relaxed facial expressions to numbness, too gaudy.

Once I tried to hang myself from the fan
To experience the suffocation so intense.
Once I dipped my face in water for minutes,
To get choked to death.

This is no abnormality, trust me.
It happens when the world shuts you in a dark room where you cannot see,
When every mortal has rejected you firm,
And in utter agony and misery you're churned.

She Dances Alone

She loved a guy so true and deep,
Whose charm stole away all her sleep.
She wanted him so desperately,
That today his absence forces her to weep.

She did not get the love of her life,
Thinking about him she everyday dies.
She calls him, she shouts his name,
No one responds, her all efforts in vain.

She has hope that he will come back to her,
Someday the three magical words, he will whisper.
So she waits for him, all day and night,
The hope in her is all bright.

But day after day, week after week,
She has started turning pale and meek.
She runs in despair to find her love,
In every corner she feels he can be.

She remembers he loved her dance,
So every evening she turns on a melancholy song-
She dances with all passion and trance
To attract that boy whom she belonged.

She dances with madness and infinite rapture,
She knows her boy will come someday and capture-
The empty place by her side of a dance-partner,
And finally her soul will go a-flutter.

She also dances in misery and moves in dejection,
But she is sure that her guy will fetch her out of depression.
She knows she is not desolate, she has her love,
But when will he come and take her home?

Even after waiting for three long years, nobody came-
Her hope and patience started staring her in shame.
But to optimism and faith she has become so prone,
As every evening, you can still find her dancing alone…

Graveyard of Hopes

I sit low and ponder over my sterile life,
Ruffled deeply with my unstructured smile.
I have nothing unstinting within my reach,
I appear so pallid after my concluding screech.

I plead for recognition, I beg for company-
I wish God created someone who could be pleased with my harmony.
O' hear me! I lay so low here-
Can anyone come and lift me without a sneer?

I'm lost in the misfortunes of my life,
I feel I'm in the dark even in bright daylight.
I'm so broken, desolate and so shattered-
After losing everything of my life that mattered -

Me, my existence and my future.
Today I'm holding nothing more than failure.
My life that was once gaudily painted,
Has today lost all its charm, fervour and has become tainted.

Why? Why have I become so lugubrious?
Why my eyes have deepened to become somniferous?
Why do I feel everyone around is whimsical?
Why have I shed my flamboyance and become enigmatical?

I have not choked my life; my life has choked me,
But by shedding all its leaves, can a tree be happy and free?
New life will sprout up again and it would move on,
Why my case is different? Why within me, hopes couldn’t be again born?

The leaves falling on the damp soil also catalyse new growth,
But my leaf is all diseased and bellicose.
No strand of hope is left within me,
I've truly become unsightly and grisly.

Today I lie unaffected with any remarks congratulating me,
Everything abject I've faced has eventually erased all my glee.
I still move, smile, dream and talk with people I know,
But my body has become the graveyard of my innocent hopes.

Survive

I found you, was the most holy thing I could do.
I understood you, was the finest thing I could then do.
I felt you, was the cutest sensation I had,
I loved you, simply made me great and mad.

You were always in my sight,
Still I never approached you to feel some delight.
I thought you wouldn't care for me and be unwise,
You would also mock me and happily notice the million tears falling from my eyes.

I thought you were harsh and patronizing,
Though you appeared smart, peaceful and enticing.
Something within me stopped me to reach you,
It forced me to keep my mouth sewed.

But one fine day my conscience lost against you,
You are in Angel - it felt and its misconception blew.
We talked a little and then a bit more,
And within minutes, ‘I would be true to you forever’, I swore.

You turned out to be the most pretty belonging I had,
Your smile, your company was so pleasant and red.
I didn’t know you much then,
But I made firm my idea to make you my most special friend.

You were an aid to my every wound that ached,
Your ten words cheered the every sad fish in my heart’s lake.
Your one touch healed every sorrow I had,
It lit up a candle of affection in every corner within me that was sad.

You were the sweetest Angel’s face,
You were the one whom God created with all his grace.
You came so pure and true in my life,
You gave me the real hope to reform and survive.

I could see something in you that coerced me to reveal all my secrets,
The faith in your eyes made me relaxed and confident,
You have no idea how perfect and soothing you are,
A 15-minute chat with you made me all jubilant.

The best part is, my friendship is not one-sided or hollow,
You also tell me all your secrets, deep or shallow.
When I asked you, “Are we friends?” and you said “Yes!” in a tone so sweet and gay,
Believe me, such an obvious thing completely made my day.

I can never find a friend I saw in you,
I just want your eyes to be as transparent as at that time when you saw me true,
I can leave this world to take your side,
Everything personal of my life, in you I confide.

Please be my friend forever,
I promise you- My faith in you will never sever.
You are the thread connecting all the scattered beads of my life,
If you left me ever, trust me, I will not survive.

Yes! I will not survive…

Expectations

Should I fight? Should I show my temper?
Should I retaliate? Should I spit my anger?
Have I got anything to lose? I'm so bemused,
Should I kick away all the obligations against me?
Or should I hear everything sitting confused?

This world is incapable of giving any mirth.
Any joyous feelings here are so in dearth.
If you go ahead to do something sane,
You simply receive abuses so profane.

People have forgot how to love and care,
The adulation they possess is so unshared.
They may talk good in front you,
But when you turn around,
All their goodness in so quickly diffused.

Expecting something from someone has become a crime.
Harsh and loud noise has taken the place of a wind-chime.
There is nothing 'gentle' left around,
Only in numerous conspiracies, people are bound.

Has purity totally disappeared?
Is there no humanity left? Does anyone fears?
Are all the guys around masked?
Can anyone trust another fellow in dark?

Will someone support you against others?
Will someone love you even when you’ve shed all your feathers?
Is there someone whose hand you can hold?
Who is so helping and does not pretends to be bold?

Are people really so selfish?
Is our Earth becoming too hellish?
What happened to our faith and moral values?
Have we thrown them as well with our torn shoes?

Has wishing a bad-luck taken the place of prayers?
Has admiring someone transformed into awful stares?
Is there anyone left to rely upon?
Why there is dusk after every dawn?

In this world, no one is yours.
The one whom you love and trust is also among your foes.
If you do good to someone and expect the same in return,
You are actually hoping to see a flower blossom from a dead fern.

Lost Love

I could see love in your eyes
I could hear acceptance in your sighs
I could feel warmth in your touch
I could sense purity in your blush.

You came so lucky in my life,
Your presence always lingered around my sight.
Whenever I opened my eyes, I saw you
You were in every colour- red, green or blue.

When I extended out my arms, you hugged me.
When I lowered my cheek, you kissed me.
When I raised my hand, you held me.
May whatever come, you always loved me.

But today my love is lost,
I'm shivering alone in the frost.
You are not present by my side,
All our affection and intimacy has dried.

Where are you? Aren't you missing me?
I guess you’ve found another one, I can clearly see.
Was my love too hollow, too unreal?
I’m sure you think it was, is what I feel.

You left me alone to drown in this water,
Even though you knew I couldn't swim.
And when I needed you the most as a company,
You went away doubling my already quadrupled grim.

Still girl, I’m waiting for you to come,
I’m confident that my expectation wouldn’t be rendered undone.
I firmly believe my love isn’t totally lost,
I’m still shivering and waiting for you in this frost.

I gave you my pain

I was bad, I was so insane,
Knowingly without regret, I gave you all my pain.

You were the First Angel the good Lord ever sent me,
To help me smile and build a beautiful future which I could later see.
You helped me in every initiative I took,
And I never felt that your faith in me shook.

You encouraged me; you taught me how to love,
You fitted all of my feelings in a heart-shaped glove.
Overwhelmed, I disclosed all my troubles to you,
You didn't murmur and told me that they were really few.

I was bad, I was so insane,
Knowingly without regret, I gave you all my pain.

Seeing 'hope' in your eyes, I became confident.
I finally felt that all my problems would come to an end.
I jumped, I sang, I danced,
Your presence was like the most effective magical wand.

You tried so hard to keep your word,
You tried everything possible, good or nerd.
I started to enjoy life and smile,
After giving you all my tensions, I lived the expression of River Nile.

I was bad, I was so insane,
Knowingly without regret, I gave you all my pain.

When things started to work, my elation had no bound,
The affliction had all vanished from my open wound.
I felt so great for the first time in my life,
I thought now I would never suffer or retaliate or strife.

But once I noticed your secretive smile,
That was saturated with something that was only meant to beguile.
You never clearly showed any discontentment for me
Was it true? Or you just pretended to fake an emotion for me to see?

You were so great, true and winsome,
You never made me feel as if I were a burden,
I’m so sorry if I over-expected from you –
You gave me everything you could except your mirth’s hue.

I have no courage to receive any more favour from you
You did everything you could and now I don’t need anything ‘new’.
You’re my friend, that’s my most valuable possession,
You gave me the true selfless friendship’s sensation.

Nothing more I claim from you –
With these words, I bid an adieu,
“I was bad, I was so insane,
Knowingly without regret, I gave you all my pain.”