She let her life fly away ...

She looked into the water at the face she always groomed,

But only noticed blood in her blue eyes; the blood of her fresh wound.

Every bright day from then introduced a new suffering in her dainty life,

And every new face she saw mocked her when she wandered in her lonely strife.

She wished to fly to that haunted monastery up the hill,

Where thousands of laburnum trees flourished ready to kill.

Just a little seed of theirs would salvage her from all pain

And her wish would get materialised of never seeing this cruel world again.

There was a man whom she had loved with a very sincere heart,

His feel always made her chirrup like an innocent lovely little lark.

It was he with whom she had always been lavender and lurid,

And it was only he, who was reponsible for her turning ever putrid.

She defied everybody to love him; she left everyone for him,

The light of her faith was gaudy, she never allowed it to dim.

She approached him with open arms and surrendered herself,

He accepted her merrily. The clock tolled twelve.

She lived the dream she adored every night,

The man she loved was always infront of her sight.

She radiated happiness through her translucent pale skin

Whenever she kissed him and he acknowledged that love with a grin.

After a month or two she discovered that she was about to become a mother,

She rushed to him with joy, on the way floating in air like a free feather.

She told him everything excitedly and said that now they should get married,

So that the little baby gets his identity in the world whom she carried.

The next morning when she woke up, she couldn't find her lover,

He left her alone to face the world with ofcourse, her tiny nudger.

She collapsed instantly on the floor, bereft of a person who could understand her.

She wanted to cry but the shock was so pronounced that even a word she couldn't utter.

She was devoid of any aid; she couldn't return to those people whom she had left,

But she needed a shoulder on which all her pain she could rest.

The one who was the essential emollient substance for her existence

Was responsible for her misery, her abandoned child and for all her grimace.

She wanted to save her child but she couldn't search any way,

Nothing seemed to have color for her, all she could see was a dirty shade of grey.

It was then she decided not to see any other rueful day,

Her 'nudger' was also killed when she let her life fly away...

Ageing Agony

My hand is still stretched out towards the heaven

And my heart waits for you without a reason.

Time has elapsed so gleamingly all this time

Hovering smugly over the noise of any tearful chime.

I feel our fresh past, rueful and agonising.

I remember the time when you broke my wing.

And attached it with yours and flew away from me forever.

Crippled and broken I was, over my cursed fate to deter.

All this time I had been devoid of your sound,

The grass of my life turned ugly yellow on the parched ground.

Today, the freshly bloomed roses of my inspiration no more live,

And there is fear in my eyes, concealed but still olive.

I'm so sure that I will never be able to overcome this shock.

I'm sturdy but my heart is composed of the fragile cotton rock.

Pain is so easily penetrable through my thin skin,

That it makes me believe that in the game of life I can never win!

Every moment I ask myself, what caused you to leave my hand,

And disappear like a small shell in the vast stretched ocean of sand.

No reasonable answer appears in my mind which could soothe me for the rest of my life,

How will l be able to love again when my beating heart is being pushed deeper into the knife?

The flames of my spirit ended up into the haunted reaches of the wraith,

Claiming, altogether, my diminished resources of exuberance and dainty faith.

You came into my barren life, and it eventually became so sweetly fertile,

So ignorant of the real truth that when you're away it will again get docile.

A force of despair pulls me down to sink in the spate of tears I produced,

Coupled with the ageing agony which makes me lost, totally bemused.

So much pain is present, can it be avoided? Is there a way?

Can I sleep once in the serene night and never see the next day?

The Sun has Set

What I beheld with grace bit me off

It was scary, the pain that inched me

Everything seemed so natural, so blessed when I looked back

Never anything said that all of a sudden I would become slack

Ever, like this.

The Sun always shone clear, warm and lovely

It always kissed right on the cheek with an affable affection.

It slapped today when I tried to overlook the obvious

When I focused on not allowing my heart to realize

That she had gone miles away from it forever.

I was accustomed of losing myself in the twilight of your dim eyes

I never wanted a dusk to break into my perfect life.

Every helpless feeling dawned into the new horizon of my new sight,

When the Sun of my living had set into a sterile, ugly night.

I wonder if we were ever two beings having a common heart

If out scent ever interwined and glistened the aura.

I drowned in reality, the preposterous had occured

My life, in every form, had noticeably broken, flustered.

Was I smug in acting the way my heart yelled me to do?

I agree to the cons confirming that I was the man with emptiness.

I actually never held a chalice of love and offered it to her!

I always expected that she had known that I loved her...

This kind of insecurity has never came across me

I'm feeling afraid of death!

Death - the unavoidable, inescapable fate of anyone

I know I'll die without her.

The charisma of your faintly lit face still haunts me,

When you visited me for the last time.

I tried to understand the cause of your rejection then

But today, it's completely insignificant.

I'm like a blind searching for a coin in the mayhem.

My willingness to live this cruel world which always gave me pain

Was just because I knew I had someone to live for.

Everything has quickly changed.

I failed searching for something that could stop me from dying

Everyday.

I wish, someone showed me the way to her

What my heart dreams everyday, wants to feel now.

I cannot retain my blood in the veins if she doesn't returns

I will have to collapse.

I cannot remember when my heart had last fret,

But I know that the sun of my life has set.

And I want my set sun back!

How I bled...

As the smoke slowly arose,

I could see my fading life's rose.

It started to lose it's lovely red,

And painfully, it was how I bled.

My blood meandered faithlessly,

When more eyes aimed me. Sheepishly,

I tried to forget and ignore

Still, I started turning ever sore.

I thought I'd walked past my morose history,

And this time indeed, it was only my victory.

But, they say, the history repeats itself,

So it did, more painfully than I'd before felt.

A more intense blow of hatred punched this time,

Even though I was surrounded by the real sublimes.

Everything that I always wished to avoid,

Came rushing to saturate me as if I were totally void.

Another billion insults came to reside within me, through this air,

And confirmed me that even this time for me, the game of life would not be fair -

As in a new place with new people, a new spate of obscenity will pull me in,

And throw me out in the open drenched in the thick blood of their doomed sins.

Everytime I wonder why can everyone read my weakness through my damp face?

Why only some ugly sets of words approach me to lovingly embrace?

Today, my very ambience has become so pitiably uninviting.

I shiver whenever a new face sees the real me through my plastic hiding.

It pains when I blink my eyes,

Swollen and fatigued they are, after spending all their hope of finding someone nice.

Everyday, a new beginning and the same old end has made my ties with luck loose,

It hurts as much as when blood gushes strongly through the veins beneath a bruise.

What echoes in my ears everytime is that sound of rough chuckles

I feel if I'm woven by a sharp dozen of closed sickles!

Each day I know I'm losing myself into this maze of cursed tests,

I'm never helped by anyone in my excruciating quests.

What I know is that I'll remember all this even after I die.

I'll remember that each cause that required me to cry.

I'll ask for clarification from Him, the Lord,

Why out of everyone I know, He made me so disgustingly odd?

I've decided firmly to sleep forever,

It's pros and cons are indeed in my favour.

I feel breathless after pondering over every word that they had bluntly said

And by the smile lighting up their faces when they saw how painfully I bled.

It shattered

She walked away simply without letting me again speak,

I winced after realizing that everything had become bleak.

All the enthusiasm I had the previous night had withered and died,

When the next day she turned me down with looks full of snide.

Blood drained from my face and my head started to spin,

This time, at any exquisite cost, my heart wanted to win!

A pool of dizzying images rushed to fill my dry, astonished eyes,

And there I was, drowning in the tears of many counterfeit lies.

My desire this time was like the uncratered moon,

It was sure that this time it would avoid meeting the doom.

But with her refusal my moon drifted upwards, getting pale,

And finally it became the colour of stars, faded and stale.

What all I had planned sunk in my transparent tears,

My heart pleaded for relief as it's vision had become unclear.

I trembled after she gave me a disapproving smile from her fine lips.

The new dawn of life within me became an immortal eclipse.

I had already seen the lovely future having us holding hands

While we walked bare-footed on the tingling sandy lands.

I was slapped by this undiscovered form of future nostalgia

When I realized that overwhelmingly I had surrendered my intelligentsia.

I was sure that our story wouldn't conclude atleast in this way,

But it did after fading all the hues of my uncared hope into grey.

Our love story started with a prologue accentuating the red rose of autumn

And after 100 blank pages ended with the epilogue stating that my love blossomed out of season.

She never spoke anything to me but her looks explained it all,

With grief, I decided to jump into an unstoppable fall.

All the shimmer of joy started to lose itself in that new moon night

And disappeared with reluctance before my gaping sight.

This is how it all shattered into impossible-to-mend pieces,

This is how it escaped from my hand, much beyond my reaches.

This is how it buried itself into the grave of despondence

And this is how I broke with my solemnly cursed exuberance.

I just wonder if it would have happened the way I had wanted,

How mesmerizingly our relationship would have been flaunted.

We would have loved each other with so loyalty, truth and integrity,

That every creature in love would have remembered our name till eternity.

A friend I'll always remember

First you make me happy and then eventually I get sad,

When you wipe away my tears, I smile and then I curse why did I look glad.

I wonder the love with which you always drench me, how will I pay back?

How will a rainbow sprout up ever from the darkest portions of black?

I used to wander aimlessly in this bright sun without a goal,

I carried the grave of my dead spirit and a timid, gothic soul.

It was then your shade came shyly on all the dimensions of my living,

And then I realised that now I was protected from each kind of suffering.

Your faint chuckle, the depth of your firm eyes,

The honesty with which you admire, never taking support of any lies,

The beauty with which you dazzle the eyes of your friends,

Forces me to pray to Lord everyday that our frindship never ends.

After years I've fetched a possession for which I'm really selfish,

If circumstances push us in different directions, my life will get hellish.

The way you have smoothened the coarse hopes within me with confidence

Have cemented our friendship and the longing of never losing my existence.

Never any uneventful happening coerced you to lose faith on me,

And with every passing day I realise your affection will not let me free.

I cannot do anything much to express how much respect I have for you,

If you ever leave me, I know I'll drown painfully in the Earth's blue.

I surely cannot remember any good that I ever offered you from my side

But all that charm which you presented me despite I was pretty snide.

I can still see that day when you held my hands and said that I'll be never alone,

And very gracefully you lifted all my agony and within seconds happily they were gone.

I sat bemused, gaping on an Angel who conspicuously descended with a bouquet of love,

And in return simply carried all those dead flowers of my rueful past's bluffs.

Since the day you stepped into my life, I never dwindled on the path of reaching mirth,

You emanated some fresh sparks of hope in my extinguishing joy's hearth.

I forgot how had I shivered in the past because of my ironic solitude,

As your fresh footprints erased the signs of my defeats and I felt myself renewed.

Everyday I look into the mirror, I see your trust glistening from my eyes,

And that inevitable love which internally colored me, which came with you in disguise.

I feel complacent finally with what I have got and I feel I'm a potentate,

After the sound of your holy footsteps on my life, I know I'm not a waste.

Every night I kneel in front of the heavens to pray that no one parts me from you

And we stay together forever like those best friends which God created very few.

The Red Rose of Autumn

Never did I feel that it would be my heart that I was about to miss,

When after 2 years of our friendship I realized that your smile gave me bliss!

Yesterday we were indeed miles apart in opposite directions to explore,

And today you rest on my shoulder as we watch the horizon from the velvet shore.

I always sang melody but this time I emanated those notes which I had never sung,

Even your faintest glimpse was enough for clotting all the blood in my breathing lung.

We had been friends for some time but I never felt losing myself before you this way,

Suddenly all the roses from the paradise rushed to adorn my already shimmering day.

I was always proud of my confidence but it did not work in front of you,

Your killing eyes always made my knees go weak and I messed up with what to do!

Whatever dialogues I had planned the previous night to blurt before you with grace,

Were rendered untold as I was awkwardly speechless in front of your calm face.

Curse it! When I was only friends with you, I could speak to you openly,

And now when I wish our friendship climbs a higher step, I act so dumbly!

The serenity of your intellect and the loudness of your beauty gets me dazed,

How can someone be so flawless? ... Your perfection always made my heart amazed.

Whenever I see you chuckle and giggle in the way an innocent child does,

I get trapped in your charm even more and can barely move in the whole fuss.

I can hardly sleep now and my whole nights are consumed thinking of you,

And with the soaring sun I can see your face, smiling happily out in the blue.

Color red has turned out to be the friend I always hoped for in my past,

I feel that it stains me with odour and hue dated for forever to last.

The pellucid eyes of yours spell a trance on me, whenever I look into them

And blossom some ancient exotic flowers of the Garden of Eden on my stem.

I never enjoyed such a restless feeling ever before,

Out of all the emotions with which I was drenched, this is the only one that I allure.

Love is indeed like the red rose of autumn, which is as beautiful as anything can be,

It is that force which pushes you higher towards solace through the steps of glee.