Nobody Understands Me

I crashed on the walls of fear and loneliness everytime I realized that I was upto no good,

And there was no one who could be seen in the mist of hope asking me not to brood -

More pain, more tears and more neglection in the environ of divine love flowing with haste,

There was indeed no one who correctly valued me and assured that I was not a waste.

I was only laughed at when I said that the speckle in the moon was very clear,

My explanation was never heeded, never discussed and to listen to it nobody gave an ear.

My tears had so many meanings, but the one that was interpreted by many was,

I am sad or I'm pretending to have suffered some defeat or an inevitable dearly loss!

I feel that I had been sleeping for many thousand years as no one recognizes me today,

Once I had been popular as whenever I came in front of the people, most of them had something to say.

Time changed, I changed but mostly it were the people around me who drastically changed,

And they always utilised every opportunity to mock me and get me sad and deranged.

I needed someone on whom I could spit my feelings of dejection and some of my fears,

But no one responded to my pleads and I was alone to speak my agony for myself to hear!

There was no 'once in a blue-moon' that attracted any mortal towards me with a peace of understanding,

There was no one who ever tried to console me whenever I cried saying, 'When will some joys my life bring?'

I felt that among the roaring crowd it was only she whose faith in me could never sever,

But she also bid me a 'bye' bluntly despite she knew that good-byes really are forever.

I was awestruck and I continued to stare at her response with my tired eyes on and on,

What stopped me and asked me to pause was when I realised that she was indeed gone.

No one ever tried to peep into me to find out what I felt when I opened my eyes and looked around,

And whenever I was rejected by everybody harshly and mockingly called as a stinking hound.

I was only given advices to change myself in order to survive this harsh world which banished me,

I lacked someone who could feel my pain and understand why it is required to drink a little glee.

At every point of running time I was asked to transform, I was considered at the fault,

My hesitation was asked to be suppressed and only my anger was ordered to come to a halt.

I lacked people who would come and place their hands on my weeping heart crying for help,

I lacked some firm shoulders who could allow my head to rest on them until I restored my real self.

Whenever I tried to argue against anything that harmed my respect in any plausible way,

I was convinced not to indulge myself in any retaliation by expressing what the truth asked me to say.

Sigh! Neither I found a mortal who could bring light in the dark, lonely rooms of the Palace where I lived,

Nor the immortal sun showed any interest to get gleams in my life as always behind the dark clouds it hid!

On every occasion the shout of the circumstances revealed that I'm not amongst all, I'm very different.

And always I was pushed forcefully into a barren garden to lick the dry grass which once was succulent.

Even the park of my life was the same - dry, colorless having dozens of faded flowers and trees,

But the flower of my spirit still had some colours but sadly, it could be uprooted anytime by even a tender breeze.

I had become so weak after living a life of loneliness, grief, tears, remorse and hopelessness,

In the absence of any companions who could try occasionally to fetch me any phenomenal feel of happiness.

I cannot see the future but if it has any good reserved for me, I just wish it is that only one thing I need,

Someone should walk into my life who can understand me and value the each drop of blood that I bleed.