I Try, I Fail

I try, I fail.
I toiled hard to become a better person,
I was on the verge of attracting all happiness,
All for myself, but I couldn’t.
Joy changed it’s direction as soon as it saw me,
When I held a glass for collecting the glee.

I try, I fail,
Whenever I stand under the boisterous clouds,
In the hope that they would spell some showers.
I am so mistaken.
The patch I am on is a desert.
And so are my little innocuous dreams,
Dry and infertile, unable to grow into green saplings.

I try, I fail,
Everytime I want to wear my own skin.
But when I was rejected by my kin,
I collapsed into this world full of sins.
There was no perforation in the azure sky,
Through which some sunlight could escape,
And fill light in my unspecial life, draped
In the stubs of meaningless verses.
Everything around brought me obscene curses.

I try, I fail,

Whenever I wish to paint my love.
I thought of holding her hand forever,
But when she came to me by herself,
The circumstances prohibited me
To reach to her heart.
She looked amazed and her eyes were left to dart,
My response in this wordly world
Where I had no belongings.
Today, my rhythmic heart cannot sing.
Today, my hopes have got no wings.

Whenever I try, I fail.
I’m standing infront of the mirror of life.
Where’s my reflection?
I just see layers of mist over it,
When I try to look into it.
My existence is not specified,
My eyes have already cried,
When someone tried to erase my present.
A friend said few words, though hesitant,
I was discouraged.

I try, I fail,
In the pursuit of becoming a jovial man,
And rise up from this satanic world.
Conditions around force me to realize,
I’m different but not special.
I’ve got mettle but I’m not presentable.
I’ve smiles but I’m not cheerful.
I have a complex simplicity.
All this confuses me today,
I ask myself,
Even if I try, not to be pale,
Why do I always fail?