Life vs. Death

A little joke cleared it all

It finally pushed me into the fall.

I know that I was never worthy to live,

Then why everybody reminds me of it,

And makes my dim realisations olive?

In these sixteen years which I've lived,

I've only seen people who wanted to get rid

Of me. My very appearance affronts them

And even my little laugh causes them pain.

Everybody hates me so much

That this very thought makes me uncomfortable.

I did nothing good in my life

Instead, I made everyone else's life unbearable.

This hatred has weakened me too

I cannot face anybody for long.

And when there is a rush of people,

I even forget how to look strong.

My veins start burning when I see them

And it feels that at any time they can burst.

I wish I wasn't able to see and hear them clearly

As it makes my moaning soul suffer the worst.

But I know that it's in my hand to make them all happy

I just have to accept to willingly die.

In this way, I will do everybody I know, something good

It's always better not to live in a lie.

I'm sure that my death will make people happier

Than my life did to them.

Everything then would be so much easier

As everybody would emerge out of the mayhem.

Many people have even told me on my face

That they don't want to see me alive.

And I cannot survive in this world incognito

As the smell of my decaying soul they'll recognise.

So my desire to live is fading fast

Any day I will surrender.

I don't wish to live in such a world,

Where my every interference causes blunders.

I also don't have any energy left to stand upright

I'm tired shielding my eyes from the outside world which shines so bright.

I just want to lie peacefully into infinite sleep for ever

And escape this everyday torture which to me, this world handed over.