Unspoken Words

So many people I see

Talking nicely, strangely but happily.

I reach to them in one go

But they scatter on my approach, blaming my bright ego.

I try to be nice, I am nice

But nobody finds my niceness suffice.

I always take care of not hurting anybody,

But in this attempt I hurt everybody.

I weigh my words and then utter what I'm thinking,

And in the process I at time do rapid blinking.

But how does it show that I'm showering sarcasm?

Why my each thought-well-before-said word causes spasm?

Sadly, the best of my friends also find me rude always.

They say that I'm becoming worse with passing days.

I've tried so much to change myself so that nobody dislikes me

But it hasn't helped as my smile still extinguishes the flame of glee.

My every friendly action is rejected by all,

And nobody ever picks up my call.

I'm unaware why the dust of loneliness always arrives to dirty me?

Why in this vast world it's only I whom it can see?

Sometimes the situations get so out of control

That I curse the Lord for giving me a living soul.

I never understand why my grief produces no sound

While I run desperately for finding love on this thorned ground.

I've failed to fight the solitude without any help,

I've lost my voice to express myself; now I can only yelp.

So much neglection has damaged my under-protected hope

Nothing can change now, nothing, as much as I know.

I can feel myself disintegrating slowly into small bits

All the energy within me is drifting away from those open slits

Covering every inch of my decaying body, into the polluted air.

And I'm helpless unable to attract my disappearing flare.

The darkness has swallowed the protests of my soul.

The cold silence has hushed down the pain from my moan.

And the acid in the eyes of those who wish to see me dead

Has dissolved all the conscious portion of my burning head.

The world is ending for me and it is ending fast,

I'm lagging behind in the efforts of emerging out of the last.

But now I've decided to give in and not resent any blow

While the petals of my spirits are flying towards the biting snow.

I wanted to say a lot of things to many people before dying

Even though I knew that all of them would think that I'm lying.

But now it's more than late for those unspoken words to enter this world

Which quietened me forever and didn't care even if I died unheard.