Butterfly of Fire

Fifteen years is a very long time to live alone
And life doesn't get any nicer.
It had been years since the sun last shone,
On the dreams of a loser!

What I felt in life was the feeling of pain.
The only experience I had was of suffering.
I could only achieve some abuses highly profane,
When I was a mere sapling!

I only rested in cages which were dark,
Devoid of even a glow-worm's spark.
What tickled down me was black-ink,
Despite I bathed in fresh milk.

My tears were perhaps too transparent to notice,
As people seldom ignored them.
My affliction was trivial I suppose,
As meaningless as a fake gem.

I sat frustrated and pondered over my tenebrous life,
I wondered why people hated to see me in their sight.
I was then disturbed by the noise of the fluttering of wings,
Which came loud from my right.

Slowly a butterfly emerged in front of my eyes,
And hovered happily over me.
I was amazed at it and quite forced to admire -
The beauty of that butterfly of fire!

It flew gaily in all the corners,
And emanated dazzling light.
Its flames had a distinguished fervour,
Which sparkled with all their might.

The butterfly flew round and round,
And then it approached me.
It comforted itself in my lap,
And gave company to someone lonely!

I watched its gleams and adored its charm,
A cute, little creature who could not harm.
It just brought light to the areas which were dull,
And fluttered its wings to cheer up this sad world.

I was overwhelmed at the joy it possessed,
And the mirth with which it hovered.
I wished it lent me some of its virtues,
And instill within me some of its hues.

I requested it to reduce my pain,
And decrease the magnitude of my foes.
So that I could light the wick of my hope again,
Which was blown off sometime ago.

I wish it helps me to find myself again,
I wish it gets me some good luck.
I wish that butterfly of fire makes my life luminous,
And gets me some smiles and makes me joyous.

My Fate

Last night I got up worried from my sleep,
I was sweating and my eyes were ever deep.
I could see tears welling up in my eyes,
As I stood numb in front on the mirror, 2 hours past midnight.

I noticed the lines of tension and fear on my forehead.
I touched my silent heart which seemed dead.
I was lost in the serenity of the night so bold,
But I regained consciousness when my bare feet became cold.

I had actually confronted my fate -
I had seen everything that I would be going through, few years late.
It wasn't a dream; it was truly a nightmare,
As when I woke up, my limbs felt scared.

I saw a man holding a dagger,
Who chased me long as I ran with horror.
He caught me and inserted his weapon through me,
It produced the pain which I could never feel.

I saw myself entangled in the thorns.
I saw deep cuts and scrapes all over my body.
I was bleeding bad,
And there was no one who could help me get back.

There were evil spirits around me,
They plucked my hair from the roots mercilessly.
They also pulled my nails out of me,
And enjoyed the tone of my scream.

My flesh was exposed and it ached.
It was my blood with which they bathed.
I lied naked with my open wounds,
Staring helplessly on the hungry hounds.

They dragged me with contempt and ligated my tongue.
And with the burning ropes I was hung.
I was then beaten harsh to death,
With my bleeding eyes still wet.

They cut my fingers, they daggered me.
It wasn't late that I could see my pieces.
The tears I had shed were all dry now,
As my blood was there to compensate its need.

They hit my head with the strongest blow.
They pinched my flesh and scratched my nose.
The strands of my flesh were locked in their nails,
And also that blood with which those nails were stained.

It was so horrid to see myself holed.
I was killed brutally was what my dream showed.
I know this would be my real fate in the near future,
As I've committed enough sins to face this torture.

So Low

I sit so low and dream so high,
Being a human, I want wings to fly!
I wish to climb high and reach so far,
My aim is the sun and goal is the star.

I know I've planned a lot for me,
But will my destiny give whatever I've thought for free?
Somewhere inside me I feel I'll fall deep,
And I'll sink in those tears eventually produced when I'd weep.

This world has lots of pain to give,
It can make anyone solitary and olive.
But it also has hope that makes life livable,
And 'love' that adorns every individual.

Regret, I'm not among that ‘every’.
I've only felt hatred and tasted slurry.
I've never spoke kisses or heard any laughter,
I've mostly seen blood running all over after the slaughter.

In the absence of hope and love, my dreams have no meaning.
I’m so alone with no one who could interpret my feelings.
Dreams are made up of faith and trust,
And love which provides the final thrust.

No love has separated me from my aspirations,
It has punctured me on every occasion.
My dreams are mine alone,
I’ve no one for an aid; my all remaining hopes are blown!

That’s why I cannot dream high,
I can merely watch other birds fly.
The sun and the stars are my desires which glow,
Wish! I could achieve them, sitting so low.

स्वार्थहीन सांत्वना

हवा चल रही है आसमान में,
आंधी चल रही है मेरे जहां में
मुझे याद ही नहीं कि आखिरी बार कब महसूस की थी खुशी,
आज बस दर्द बचा है और मेरा अकेला दिल जो है दुखी

रोशिनी चाँद से होती है, सितारों से नहीं;
दोस्ती एक से होती है, हजारों से नहीं
सत्य है, परन्तु मैं तो वह एक दोस्त भी नहीं ढूंढ पाया,
मैं कभी भी दोस्ती के आनंद में नहीं समाया

मेरा जीवन अफ़सोस से भरा है,
लाभ कहाँ है? जो भी है, वह है क्षय
सुख का स्पर्श करना हे अब मेरे जीवन का परम लक्ष्य है,
प्रार्थना करता हूँ कि इस सत्कर्म में पाऊं विजय

क्या बढ़ता चलूँ मैं लाख मुसीबत आने पे?
क्या मुझको मिल सकेगी सफलता जीने में, मर जाने में?
क्या मैं कभी भी जीवन कि दुविधाओं से उभर पाउँगा?
हे ईश्वर! मैं इस कठोर सत्य का सामना करना चाहूँगा

मेरा जीवन पुष्प-रहित है,
कंटक के समान स्मृतियाँ मुझमे समाहित हैं
क्या मैं कभी भी अपने केवन को कर पाउँगा समर्थ?
राह दिख तो रही है परन्तु क्या वो सही है या है अनर्थ?

मैं फंसा हुआ हूँ एक सूखी मझदार में,
न जी सकता हूँ, न मर सकता हूँ इस कठोर संसार में
बस भटकने को हे जीवित है मेरी आत्मा,
क्योंकि उसे कोई नहीं मिला जो देता स्वार्थहीन सांत्वना

Together

What happened to us?
Something about us seems vague.
Where is our love gone?
Why our life interferes, not for our sake?

We were made to move by each other forever.
But today our destinies have over-lapped,
Can we ever be together?
Or our love has been severely slapped?

You cannot bear me, I cannot unlove you;
I'm in such a fix regarding what to do!
We fight, we ignore, we smile, we sing,
But now does it have any meaning?

People have broken us,
Or circumstances or any other fuss?
The more I try to love you and believe,
I'm even more hurt and feel deceived.

What is it? Is our love no more real?
Will my distrust on you never heal?
Will we never make it together now?
How could this happen, how?

We argue, we patch-up;
It has become so periodic and messed up.
The trust we had on each other is decayed,
It only produces bad smell and taste.

We can never make it again, I'm sure.
Fine then, let's end it happily,
Why force our relations to be allured,
When we mutually behave so snappily?

Move on girl, I won't trouble you ever,
But the same I expect from you, always remember.
I don't want you to be a hindrance in my affairs,
I want to keep my life private and ensnared.

In this way, we'll manage to smile,
And stop being too critical and docile.
I don’t wish to see you in my life anymore,
Go away, I’m happy walking alone along the shore.

A Voice so pretty

I heard a note, I heard a tune,
After hearing you once, I was over the moon.
You were so unadulterated and so melodious-
That every word you sang came out clear and luminous.

Your voice carried a charm so mesmerizing -
It always took me in the world of music so enticing.
Your presence, your singing was so propitious -
That no one in your vicinity could ever presage anything ominous.

Every lyric that emanated through you,
Rocked me with tranquility and appreciation, so true.
Could anyone be as perfect as you ever?
Could 'best' be beaten by someone 'better'?

Your voice is indeed so pretty and so pure -
It is a panacea for those diseases which cannot be cured.
The music, the melody, the rhythm in you is so untanned -
With every passing day, I'm becoming your ever sincere fan!

I don't belong here

I've been staring at the mirror for too long
I noticed how I appeared to this world
What people could possibly think when they first saw me
And what perception they could develop after our first meet.

My self-deduced result shocked me
Was I too ugly for this world to see?
Couldn't I be more presentable or more clear;
Why my appearance is so loud?

My eyes are deep, I agree
But they aren't filled with substance that pleases
I see mud and salinity overflowing through them
And a fake transparency which atleast I cannot understand.

I look out and watch people,
So engaged in themselves and their friends
I sense an air of friendship and love
And a strong bond of relationship that floats.
Wish I had wings and I could fly amidst this all
And feel the ever unfelt feelings of strong attachment.

Why am I so deprived of everything good?
Can't I get love ever? Will I always stay alone?
Circumstances have erased the word 'expectation' from my lexicon
My hopes and desires are all forcefully shunned.

I could not even get the love of my life
I was broken and still I cannot mend my failure.
With her support I could fight this world,
But when she backed away, I was totally curled.

Her every touch now feels so unspecial
Her every hug suffocates me.
But I'm happy if she does so,
Because then I'll die in the arms of someone I loved.

Why did God bless me with all virtues but did not give my any friends?
Friends are the biggest assets and jewels.
So, I feel, I'm poor and impecunious,
I don't have the basic necessities of survival.

I feel I don't belong here,
I'm so different, so weird to suit the people here.
It’s all my fault if I am stamped 'rejected'.
I wish to die hanging after getting arrested.

The feelings in me are all undefined,
The way I'm living is the most tedious task one can do.
No one can ever impersonate me,
Because no one knows how it feels when you arrange a party without friends,
Go to watch a movie alone,
Walk in the sand with no one to hold you.
No one comes to your Birthday Parties or even calls you to wish a 'happy day',
And you utilize your entire day by staring at the phone helplessly.

This is my life.
The life I'm living since fifteen years.
That's why I prefer to die,
Than to see myself every time in tears.