I Don't Know

Expectations are never hurt, they are willfully broken,
No excuse works then because it is awfully intentional.
The wind smiles at the palace of the cards when it is fallen,
As it only desired to see them all scattered in the open!

It is said to act and respond either now or never,
I feel bemused to see myself hopelessly sever -
In the extremes of performance and bearings,
Why can't I rebuke after an intense hearing?

I wasn't under deep depression earlier,
I had been sad because of everything I get to hear -
About myself and the subsequent pain I endorse,
But today the situations have changed the tables to get coarse.

At one side, I'm burdened with hopes and expectations,
At other side I'm being mocked because of my hesitations.
I never denudate a person with my sarcasm,
Even though his words and comments may cause me spasm.

The meaning of life has changed for me,
There is no warmth left for me to feel.
Even my chest is trained now with efficiency,
To face the ever nipping breeze.

Sadness -
Is now what I always feel.
My life does not getting any happier,
With each day it is getting messier.

Happiness -
Has changed its meaning.
My smile does not show that I’m happy at times.
I’m happy only when I correctly interpret my whines.

Loneliness -
Has arrived to accompany me.
It is my companion now and my friend,
And helps me immensely to fetch some glee.

Betrayal -
Has came running to hug me.
If I desired to trust someone sometime,
I was hurt despite I never committed any obnoxious crime.

I don't know...
Till when I will be the only sufferer,
In this world who always pampers,
The ones who are already happier!