Irritating Internet

Not even a tear rolled down my eye,
When my internet finally died.
It lived only with the help of medicines,
No pities! It had committed so many sins!

My net was never normal,
Its ventral view was as weird as the dorsal.
It never showed that it was all right,
And always wanted that with it, I should fight!

I always went offline before I could come online,
My net only gave me anger to dine.
It required a lot of patience to work on it,
And mental strength to survive its fits!

I pity my friends who only receive my 'hi',
And when I come back, I get their angry 'bye'!
My friendship ties have loosened because of this internet,
Huh! It is nothing more than an inanimated brat!!

I'm sick of "the page cannot be displayed!"
My net never allows me to come online without a delay!
And whenever I try to reconnect the server,
It just shows error, error and ERROR!

Mr. Internet, do you wish to challenge me?
I warn you, I'm not a sapling but a strong tree.
Darling, if at all you try to disconnect again,
You'll lose your components and your vein -

Which charges you to irritate me,
On every occasion when I feel at ease.
If you wish that I should not puncture you,
Mend your ways and don't force me to get blue.

I will break you into pieces and bits,
If you again dare to show me your nasty wits!
Behave normal with me and stay tender,
Because in your comparison, I'm wilder!!

Goodbye

Wish I could live more,
Wish my life gave me a door,
Behind which happiness laid unused,
And some hope which wasn't fused.

Wish I could just once feel bliss,
And find something special that I may miss.
If I decide to end my life,
That thing would give me a new reason to live!

Wish someone gave me a hug for the last time,
So that atleast during dying I felt sublime.
And a tissue to wipe my tears,
Along with that energy that wipes away all my distilled fears-

To fight my conscience that stops me,
From escaping this world by falling free -
By myself, into the thorns of death,
The place where I cannot restore a single breath!

Even if I opened my eyes and looked around,
Only pain and blood my little eyes ever found.
Even if I stood facing the sun,
I felt its shadow shading my unshaded fun!

For me 'fun' does not mean to enjoy,
It means to peacefully decay and cry.
I'm finally shedding the last strand of my survival,
Because I'm punctured by numerous decievals.

It has ended for me,
Now I have no hope and no scope to kiss the glee.
Only one word leaves my lips into the air,
Which says 'goodbye' to this world's affairs!

The only grief I'm taking with myself is,
I couldn't prove myself here.
My spirit is feeling insulted for it was me,
Whom it was ordered to bear!

I've started to drown,
In the intensity of the frowns.
Now nowhere I could be seen,
Trying to protect my awful sheen!

She Couldn't Live More

Life had ended for her that very day,
When she found herself chained in utter dismay.
She never thought that she could be targeted,
And her joy would be mercilessly bracketed.

This is a warm story of a once jubilant girl,
Who was the life in the many happy curls -
Of affection, love, friendship and trust.
People cared for her with all their thrust.

She always used to stay safe and jaunty,
Nothing in this world had that vehement effrontery -
To trouble her and distance her from the joys of this life,
As she was mostly frothing up and engaged in innocent jives.

But still she felt some loneliness despite all this,
She felt that her life still did not give her bliss!
She longed for a true love that could complete her,
And then even her weak wings would flutter!

Then came that day when she saw a guy,
She was open-mouthed by the charm he lifted.
Slowly she became close to him and finally his love,
She started to feel she was really blessed and gifted!

Her attraction towards him caused some discomfort in others,
Her friends tried to avoid her as much as possible.
All their affection retrieved quite harshly,
And that stunned girl looked helpless and deplorable!

There were tears in her eyes, and her voice screeched;
As in front of the Almighty she wept and beseeched
To give her back those friends which were lost,
And that luck which this world had once brought.

But the Lord had no plans to heed her prayers,
So she started losing her charm layers by layers.
The only good now she had was that boy,
And with him she planned to live her remaining life with joy.

He was the perfect blend of everything she needed,
And slowly she started recovering her losses and was again beaded -
Into the delicate string of her happiness and life,
Which was once attacked by a blunt knife.

He was all she wanted,
She loved him a lot despite she was often taunted.
Finally this world secluded her from it,
And did not care even if she might break in bits.

In awe and madness, she cut herself occasionally,
And packed her open wounds with salt painfully.
She became addicted to this feel of anguish and suffering,
And only the verses of melancholy her heart was able to sing!

But, her love was still with her,
He was the remedy of her every sad spur.
They stayed together and that boy became ever close,
To her and whenever they were together, the time froze.

His guffaw vibrated the strings of happiness within her,
Which went mute after that final stir -
Of dejection and the endless tears,
Which were intimately brought to her by her very own dear(s).

A feel of restlessness and grief could be always spotted in her deep eyes,
Which was always conspicuous even though that pain she tried to hide.
She never wanted him to feel sad because she was unhappy,
She only longed to see him smiling and jolly!

The day she kissed him went a long way to wean,
That hatred, contempt and the subsequent gangrene.
That day they swore to each other that they will always be together,
And at any case, both will prevent each other to suffer!

The boy brought a wave of happiness and colours in her faded vision,
Which she accepted readily without any hesitation.
She was so glad to see that the rainbow was no more grey,
And the sun indeed shone bright during the day.

She responded effectively to his love,
She sang songs for him, kissed him and loved him.
Her loyalty for him could be definitely used for giving an example of,
She fought those things which dared to bring him some intense grim.

So, their love for each other was so true and ideal,
But it all collapsed that day when it brought a sharp ordeal.
He called her up and said with a low tone,
That he loved her no more!

He emphasized that they can be friends even then,
But they won't display that intimacy.
She will continue to occupy a place in his mind, which was indeed special,
And that promise was indeed no fallacy.

She went numb after listening to what he said,
She did not utter a word and sat quietly on her bed.
He was still on the phone asking her not to weep any tear,
But she did not respond as if nothing she could hear!

She opened a drawer and took out a bottle of sleeping pills,
She needed them for sleep everynight.
But that night was different, important,
So she took out a handful of pills and simply watched them by her sight.

Then there was a thud and she fell on the floor,
After staring those pills and pondering over his words more.
The sleeping pills scattered all over the place after falling from her hand,
So amazing, they were not responsible for her death!

The words of that boy choked her life and she died,
This much was her love for him and she never even tried to hide
It from him, still he betrayed her love and behaved so sore,
Whatever may be, now she couldn't live more...

If I Could

If I could have stopped you timely,

You would have been with me today.

If I could have been wise in making friends,

I wouldn't have been crying in dismay.

If I could have known what life means,

I wouldn't have slit open my vein.

If I could have understood what you feel,

I would have never suffered any pain.

If I could have seen the future,

I would have easily escaped today's torture.

If I could have learnt to smile,

Then today I wouldn't be slowly dying.

If I could have been a good person,

I would have many friends.

If I could have been what I am,

Many would have served me with their helping hands.

If I could have seen the sun,

I would have never thought to live in the dark.

If I could have seen a conflagration,

I would have never rejoiced at a mere spark.

If I could have longed to win,

I would have never faced defeats.

If I could have cared for my losses,

I would have avoided my eyes to bleed.

If I could have tasted affection,

I wouldn't have been ever alone.

If I could have been more open and social,

I wouldn't be ever considered as a drone.

If I could have dreamt about happiness,

I wouldn't have got these sad days.

If I could have been bold,

I wouldn't be the target of an awful gaze.

If I could have desired to stay jaunty,

I wouldn't have ever cried.

If I could have kissed a fresh petal,

My spirits wouldn't have dried.

If I could have learnt to fly,

I wouldn't have become an awful burden.

If I could have been trained to retaliate,

I wouldn't have broken because of a single hurdle.

If I could have been faithful myself,

I would have won loyal cronies.

If I could have been equal to all,

I wouldn't have got so many enemies.

If I could have been sane and homely,

I wouldn't be tagged by everyone as 'lonely'.

If I could have just wished that, "If I could",

I wouldn't have attracted those termites to feast on my life's wood.

Hundred Miles

I decided to hunt for you after spending days alone,
Because of my relentless ignorance, so far you had gone.
But I was firm to decide that I'll again make it all right,
And if the destiny favoured us, we would never ever fight.

Pondering over the maxim, 'if there is a will, there is way',
I set off to find you even on that sweltering day.
I wanted to end the bitterness of our relation and again become gay,
So, I just left for you without making a further delay.

On the way your thoughts were hovering above me,
Which helped me sustain that sunny day.
They behaved to be that cozy shade of a helping tree,
And gave vibrations to my lips when I had nothing to say.

In the hope of meeting you and shedding our hatred I moved on and on,
I never realized that when the time elapsed from the dusk to a new dawn.
Even a diminutive thought of yours gave me immense energy to walk,
And opened new dimensions in my parochial mind which was seldom blocked!

But girl, where are you today?
There are many things which I feel I should say.
I've searched thousand places but nowhere could I find
You, despite I've already walked a hundred miles...

I'm standing amidst dust and confusion,
Where my rusted hopes are demanding protection.
My vision has reached the remotest corners of all directions,
But nowhere could they trace any affection.

What shall I do? I'm quite in a fix,
Shall I quit the idea of making a home with our love's bricks?
The distance between us has widened so much,
That even if you hug me, I wouldn't be able to feel your touch.

I'm unable to hear those timid beats of your heart,
And find your doting eyes, quite dark.
I feel like crooning my misery to this world,
Wish, for the last time if I could smell your perfumed curls.

I desire to meet you girl, but I'm extremely helpless and afraid,
If I'm unable to find you, certainly I'll go under the blade.
Still I don't know if I should go ahead with my journey,
Or take a U-turn and choke that hope which I finally received from my destiny?

I've decided.
I'll walk ahead and cover another hundred miles to reach you.
Because if I retreat my steps, I still can't avoid to walk those hundred miles,
Which I had covered already from the place I had started.

As you sow, so shall you weep!

He was well acquainted with the fact that she loved him,
Still whenever he saw her, he simply gave a grin.
He gave no attention towards her love in any way,
But her love was divine, intensified with the passing days.

She was totally smitten by him and whatever he did,
Only for him, her beating heart she bid.
She always tried to make him as happy as possible.
Even though she tried to hide her love, it was palpable.

The affection for him was so conspicuous in her shy eyes,
Like those sunrays which penetrate the clouds in the azure skies.
His smile, his jokes would fill her with tremendous glee,
And she realised that she was as lucky as one could be.

If she was around, he would never feel down,
She made him feel like a newly coronated King holding his crown.
But he was so selfish to appreciate her and accept,
That she was the 'only one' for him whom his heart has rejected.

He stayed with her, talked with her and even laughed with her,
The every secret of his life she had known.
But still that guy resisted accepting that truth,
Which said that only her love he could possibly own.

She took care of all those small things which fetched him joy,
And she always wished to see him happy and satisfied.
If he won something, she would become happier than him,
And longed to fill even more colours in his life which he called 'dim'.

Still he never listened to what the circumstances shouted,
And ignored her love which had already sprouted,
In the hope of becoming a tree with his love and affection.
He was well aware of this but he never paid any attention.

He used to love a different girl,
He believed that in his oyster's life, she was the fresh pearl.
His all attention and love revolved around her,
And whenever he saw her, he would be filled with spur.

He tried to enter into her life as a friend,
He even succeeded to get friendship from her end.
And with time, he became her preference,
Which forced that boy to float with happiness.

She noticed her love going away from her,
But she was so honest and true that she never murmured.
Just to see him happy, she killed her love,
And decided to lead her life in a separate tragic world.

Meanwhile, that boy was spending the best days of his life,
With that girl with whom he was terribly infatuated.
He cared for no one save her,
And left that girl who loved him, alone and dejected.

Then that hard day came in his life,
When he had to approach his love and say -
"I love you a lot, and want you to stay with me always,
If you go, darkness would conquer my serene days."

The girl looked upon him with awe and confusion,
And without grief, firmly rejected his proposal.
She only demanded an immortal friendship from him,
If he didn't give her that, she wouldn't include him in her kin.

This statement of her broke that boy,
He went under depression and couldn't afford to behave coy.
He thought how she can be so dismissive towards her love,
Even though his love his eyes always showed her.

This thought shook his mind with high tremours,
He remembered that love stuffed compactly in her -
His friend who always wanted him to stay happy,
And for him, she choked her love and never behaved crabby!

I know that guy, he's filled with repentance and remorse,
He asks me if he should go to her and roar,
"Forgive me and forget me because I'm not worth you,
Whatever I did to you was so rude!

Obviously I neither deserve your apology,
Nor I can say, I wish if you could again love me.
I guess I deserve to live lost somewhere in the deep,
I've realised, as you sow, so shall you weep!"

I'm sorry girl, really sorry...

The Blue-moon Night

In the blue-moon night when the moonlight falls
On her, she remembers what befalled
A month ago in front of her eyes,
And so she starts to walk in that night.

She unlatches her door and steps out.
Her restlessness even orders the serenity to shout -
And ask her to stay back.
But the ability to understand, she lacked.

She walks with a slower pace and energy
Passing the houses of the priests and the clergy.
And then as usual she steps on the rail,
In every blue-moon night without a fail.

She walks on it without a fear,
Even though those approaching trains she could hear.
What went on in her mind was always a mystery,
As no one bothered to peep into her history.

Then she used to change her direction,
Towards an uninviting forest lacking affection.
She used to enter it quite bold,
With no trace of fear forcing her heart to get cold.

She stops by a particular tree and looks up at the moon,
Whose light falls on a statue standing there.
Slowly she overcomes her baffled doom,
As that statue gets life and starts to stare.

She gets filled with joy as she hugs the animated statue,
Who was of her lover.
And eventually his heart begins to regain its hue,
Making her ever happier.

Because of a curse her love had lost his life,
And in that forest he stood petrified.
He could only become normal and right,
If his body felt that blue-moon's light.

This made her walk towards the forest once in every fortnight,
She didn't fear the dark; she had conquered all her fright.
She used to stay with him until the dawn,
Because with the rising sun he would again stiffen and his life would be gone.

Everytime she cries a tear or two at that spot,
And then retraces her steps back home with that little joy she got-
After meeting her beloved, even though for a short time,
But that was sufficient enough for her to stay sublime.

So in order to meet her man she walks,
Despite she comes to hear lots of disgust-filled talks.
But this shows how true she is towards him,
As she comfortably ignores all those hurting whims.