Goodbye

Wish I could live more,
Wish my life gave me a door,
Behind which happiness laid unused,
And some hope which wasn't fused.

Wish I could just once feel bliss,
And find something special that I may miss.
If I decide to end my life,
That thing would give me a new reason to live!

Wish someone gave me a hug for the last time,
So that atleast during dying I felt sublime.
And a tissue to wipe my tears,
Along with that energy that wipes away all my distilled fears-

To fight my conscience that stops me,
From escaping this world by falling free -
By myself, into the thorns of death,
The place where I cannot restore a single breath!

Even if I opened my eyes and looked around,
Only pain and blood my little eyes ever found.
Even if I stood facing the sun,
I felt its shadow shading my unshaded fun!

For me 'fun' does not mean to enjoy,
It means to peacefully decay and cry.
I'm finally shedding the last strand of my survival,
Because I'm punctured by numerous decievals.

It has ended for me,
Now I have no hope and no scope to kiss the glee.
Only one word leaves my lips into the air,
Which says 'goodbye' to this world's affairs!

The only grief I'm taking with myself is,
I couldn't prove myself here.
My spirit is feeling insulted for it was me,
Whom it was ordered to bear!

I've started to drown,
In the intensity of the frowns.
Now nowhere I could be seen,
Trying to protect my awful sheen!